Home.

I no longer feel restless.

It's a strange feeling to no longer look for where you belong.

I've been here for about six months. In the six months I've been here, I've ran into (randomly) three or so people that I know. I lived in AZ for almost 11 years and ran into one person. One.

I miss my family terribly. The half-hour, 2 hour, or 6 hour drive depending on which family we are talking, has now turned into a few hundred dollar flight and time off work adventure. An adventure on which cannot happen soon enough. I don't want to push it off too much longer but life being what it is...alas.

I've spent time with my "nephew" and loved snuggling with him, when he's not telling me to "Be Quiet!" So much for positive reinforcement. I've shopped with my best friend since middle school and marveled at the life that happens while shopping for vacation clothes. I've tackled another friend from middle school near the beer garden at a concert, the look of surprise and happiness warmed my cold little heart.

I've applied and interviewed for more jobs than I'd like to think about; I've had a great man by my side while I struggled to find my place in this wet world. He's been there to wipe my tears when I let the world get to me and kick my ass back into gear when I wallow in my misery a little too much.

I have family here and there that will never let me fall too far.

How could I have gotten so lucky?

I love you all. Thank you for everything then, now, and to be.

I

Yeeeah.

My first show in the Great Northwet went well.

I worked with Video and was given a two-man crew on the out. I also scored a pick, courtesy of the lead video dude on tour.

It's almost 2 am and I still have plenty of caffeine in my system. Ah, the life of a rockstar.

Well.

I'm here.

The cat and I are settled into the suite that is our short-term home. He seems to be comfortable and happy and as long as it's warm in here, I'm good too.

I've been putting out applications where I can and looking online to see what is out there. I dropped off an application for a stagehand company yesterday and was invited to their orientation later this month. Cross your fingers that my forklift skills are in demand.

It's really amazing to me that I'm back. I feel completely at home. It's a nice feeling to have my friends so close.

Taking my dad to the airport truly was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'm an incredibly fortunate person to have the support that he and everyone else have given me. I hope I can make them all proud of me.

"...Can you ever just be whelmed?"

"I think you can in Europe."

That scene, if I recall correctly, was filmed in the teacher parking lot of my high school the summer after I graduated.

I'm in the final days/hours of moving out of my apartment. I have the attention span of a gnat when it comes to moving this time around. I need to have everything out by Sunday. I swear I'm mostly packed. I am. It's the last little bit of stuff that I don't want to do until I have to. The Korea Speakers, the tuner, the creature speakers, the rest of my clothes. At this point it appears that I will be able to pack everything that I want to take with me into the 45 gallon tupperware containers.

The real question is will my dad and I be able to lift the containers in and out of the truck. Other burning questions, does the xbox travel in the bed of the truck wrapped in a garbage bag, along with the creature speakers? Where should I stash the memory foam and mixer in the game of tetris that will be the bed of my little truck. Golf clubs? Hmm. A tarp and ratchet straps or a tarp and the bed-webb thing I have?

These are things that I was thinking about at 4 am this morning. My alarm had another 50 minutes to go before it was to wake me up.

I'm still excited and intrigued as to what I've gotten myself into. I think I'm just ready to be there. I am not looking forward to driving for two to three days. I am not looking forward to saying goodbye to my dad. Taking him to the airport will be one of the hardest things I will do.

I'm gonna do this.

It was crazy telling my co-workers that I was moving.

It will be even crazier loading my truck and starting the drive.

Either I stumble and gain my footing or I stumble and fall.

Either way, I will learn.

I'm gonna do this.

Time

Time by Pink Floyd just came on the internet radio.

The clouds are moving in from the West, sunset is near. It reminds me of the monsoon season.

The music reminds me of pink apartments in the Old Pueblo.

I do believe that my time is now.

Please Sir, take some more!

I made 15 bean soup for last nights dinner. I made the $2.00 bag. It serves 800 after it's cooked. It's quite tasty. Would you like some? There's plenty to spare.

onewordmostly

Where is your cell phone? couch

Your significant other? none

Your hair? purplish

Your mother? dedicated

Your father? loving EDIT: Stepfather: Professorial

Your favorite thing? goal

Your dream last night? non

Your favorite drink? beer

Your dream/goal? 13.1 miles

What room are you in? living

Your hobby? not working

Your fear? failure

Where do you want to be in six years? happy

Where were you last night? couch

Something that you aren't? content

Muffins? blueberry?

Wish list item? job

Last thing you did? gym

What are you wearing? uncertainty

TV? sisters

Your pets? fuzzy

Friends? best

Your life? quiet

Your mood? questioning

Missing someone? occasionally

Drinking? later

Smoking? no

Your car? awesome

Something you're not wearing? sweatshirt

Your favorite store? sur la table

Your favorite color? black

When is the last time you cried? Decemeber

Who will resend this? doubtful

Where do you go to over and over? work

Five people who email me regularly? friends

My favorite place to eat? ra

Favorite place I'd like to be right now? beach

Four people I think will respond? unknown

"Hey you
begin again
Again?
again again you'll see
it's easy begin again..."

"I'm really scared, but absolutely ready for this"

Stop at Nothing
What does that say?

It makes no difference how many peaks you reach
if there was no pleasure in the climb

i am the sum of my small steps

Hrm.

Stabby. Angsty. Postal.

This is not the way to start out the New Year. Or maybe it is. Everyone needs a kick in the ass once in a while.